Compensate
by cym70
Summary: Yellow Diamond's Pearl takes pride in her work, because she must. (Part 2 of Finding Stars in Desolate Skies)
_"Just as you ordered, Yellow Diamond."_

The Pearl knows who she has been made for. Even in her newly formed state, she knows this is the greatest kind of honor. The greatest a Pearl can be afforded anyway.

She is made already on her second chance. Yellow Diamond has never had much patience for Pearls; if she had her way she probably wouldn't have any. As it was, it would be odd for a Diamond not to have a Pearl at her side, so Yellow Diamond makes them, trains them, and has no qualms about smashing them to pieces when they fail to live up to her standards. The Pearl before her, just like all the rest, couldn't do her job. The Pearl before her marks the end of her Diamond's patience, and she is told that if she also fails, the next Pearl will just be a decorative, useless plaything. She hates the idea of failing her Diamond, and she loathes the last Pearl for not being good enough and the next Pearl who will never even have to try to be what her Diamond actually wants. She spends her time making up for these Pearls' faults, and it is frustrating.

Her job requires precision, diligence, and poise. The last Pearl hadn't been able to keep up. She will do better. She _does_ do better. Her purpose is to serve, and so she serves with everything she has. That is all she has anyway.

She learns fast. Pearls aren't meant to learn, can't learn, aren't capable of it, but she has to. Even a Pearl can't get complacent. She's not going to let herself get shattered over some minute detail. She's more competent than the others. She refuses to be another defective Pearl, tossed out or abandoned like trash. She is Yellow Diamond's Pearl, and she will uphold that title with as much dignity as a Pearl can muster.

 _"Manage my calls, Pearl."_

Yellow Diamond does not treat her badly. She is not kind—no Diamond has time for kindness when there are worlds to conquer and gems to command—but she is not cruel, most days. She yells sometimes, when things get off schedule or gems don't do their jobs. Once she yells at the Pearl, just once, when she bungles a report near the beginning of her time there. It is terrifying, and for a moment she feels like there's immense pressure against her gem and she can't move. There isn't, because Yellow Diamond would hardly deign to touch a Pearl, not even to destroy her, but she feels it all the same. She isn't cracked for her mistake, but she knows better than to make another. She gets back to work and pretends it never happened. She is a flawless Pearl, and she will not let herself get replaced.

 _"Wait here with the rest."_

The meetings amongst Diamonds usually leave the Pearls standing together, posing along the wall like ornaments. They are, after all, even if this Pearl has always found her aesthetic duties to be the least satisfying. She much prefers the strict, rigid posture she holds standing by Yellow Diamond's side, being useful. Here she tries to pose herself more gracefully, imitating lesser Pearls she has seen over the years. She is better than them, she thinks, because most days she does more than stand around and look like a pretty, delicate status symbol. She is that, of course, but she also provides real service to her Diamond. She is modeled after her Diamond in all aspects, and she is efficient in a way the others aren't.

She's not as skilled in other areas, but it doesn't matter. Some of the more artful Pearls can sing and dance and entertain. So can this Pearl, but she is told repeatedly that her performances are subpar and Yellow Diamond doesn't care for such trivialities anyway. As long as she does everything she is supposed to, she is not considered defective.

 _"File these reports. This will be a long meeting; there's no point in having you stand there doing nothing."_

Other Pearls are better at being enchanting and delicate in their movements. Blue Diamond's Pearl is like that. That Pearl never speaks to her, never seems to speak much to anybody including her Diamond, but she has all the poise and perfection that a Pearl needs. Rumors and reports say she's the longest-serving Pearl any Diamond has ever had, and this Pearl can understand it. At first she dismisses the other Pearl as a standard, uninteresting model like all the others, but the more she sees her—out of the corner of her eye as they pass on the street, waiting beside her during Diamond meetings—the more she doubts that assumption. The Pearl even begins to make her uneasy, with how perfectly she performs.

A Pearl who lasts that long must, after all, know something she doesn't.

This Pearl does not like not knowing. She works with Yellow Diamond, who always has to know everything, have complete information so that she can make the best choices and most rational decisions. Blue Diamond's Pearl simply exists, a tiny unknown in the sea of Pearls. She seems perfect, and that is how she knows there is something wrong with her. No one notices, though, because as long as a Pearl behaves like a Pearl, no one questions them.

She makes it a point to avoid that Pearl though. She'd rather stand beside White Diamond's new, skittish thing that will be replaced within the week. White Diamond's Pearls never last long, and they are weak and harmless and have no secrets.

 _"Pearl, answer that."_

She answers, as instructed, mouth moving automatically to form the words she has said thousands of times. "This is the Yellow Diamond control room."

She is greeted by the sight of a Peridot and immediately scrutinizes the image, taking in the familiar uniform, the lack of limb enhancers, and the unfamiliar greenery behind her.

"Who authorized you to make this call?" the Pearl asks. Her Diamond's time should not be wasted on this Peridot, whoever she is.

"N-No one. But it's an emergency!"

"That's no excuse to use the direct Diamond communication channel." She is so sick of small gems that don't know their places. Peridots especially, who always act like they're so much better than her even though she handles Yellow Diamond's technology just as often as they do and has the knowledge—if not the ability to perform—every single one of their tasks.

"Pearl," Yellow Diamond's voice floats down from behind her.

"Yes, my Diamond?" she asks, turning a little and fearing, for a split second, that she has forgotten some small piece of information that would explain this communication. Not that she has. She never has. She makes sure of it.

"Why is there someone on the Diamond line?"

"I don't know, I was just about to tell her that—"

"I'll take it from here."

The screen is lifted up, to focus on Yellow Diamond, and the Pearl takes one second to reassure herself that the Peridot is the one who has made the mistake here and not her. She listens to the rest of the report with increasing impatience that mirrors her Diamond's. And when the Peridot has the nerve to keep going…well, it is an entirely new experience to hear a gem say "no" to their Diamond. She gasps at the audacity. The Peridot has clearly just signed herself up to be shattered at the earliest possible convenience.

"I'm questioning your objectivity. My Diamond."

"Well!" the Pearl says, offended for her Diamond's sake and unable to stop the word from slipping out. She skitters backward as Yellow Diamond stands, feeling her looming anger.

"You are out of line."

The Pearl stares up at Yellow Diamond as she rises, as the argument—an _argument_ with her Diamond, stars, it was strange—escalates.

 _"I can tell you with certainty that there are things on this planet worth protecting!"_

What is that supposed to mean? What does a Peridot know about anything?

Before she knows it, the channel closes and she is left with her Diamond, angrier than she has ever seen her.

She stands perfectly still, knowing that Yellow Diamond would need very little excuse to take that anger out on a Pearl, who is—despite all her efforts—completely expendable.

"Detonate the communicator."

The Pearl rushes to do so immediately, and finds small satisfaction in the completed task. The problem is taken care of, and everything will proceed as her Diamond wishes.

She waits for another command, but Yellow Diamond's fingers flick over numerous screens and she has no time to think about a Pearl when it's possible her plans have been compromised.

She goes back to her usual duties and counts herself lucky.

 _"Take care of things here."_

She is a Diamond's Pearl, and she is as proud as a Pearl can be without being out of line. If her pride is in her Diamond, there can be no fault found.

She holds her head high.

She straightens her shoulders, finds an ounce of empty pleasure in the similarity her uniform bears to Yellow Diamond's, and pretends that she is not replaceable.


End file.
